Madonna crucifies herself

Madonna kicked off her first world tour in two years. The 47-year-old dance diva spent two hours churning out most of the tunes from her new album, Confessions on a Dancefloor, as well as a few old hits such as Like a Virgin, Ray of Light and Lucky Star.

Out popped Madonna, in S&M-styled riding gear and whip, singing the new tune Future Lovers as four bare-breasted male dancers writhed around with ball gags in their mouths.

Later on, she donned a crown of thorns and suspended herself from a giant mirrored cross to deliver the ballad Live to Tell. Madonna has defended this stunt by saying that Jesus wouldn't mind (May God strike her down dead!).

During one of her half-dozen costume changes, another video montage juxtaposed images of Bush, members of his administration and British Prime Minister Tony Blair with footage of Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe. Midway through the new song I Love New York, she deviated from the script and made a crude reference to Bush and oral sex.

True to form the press have gotten themselves into a frenzy over her antics, giving Mrs Ritchie all the free publicity she relies on.

My advice is to do what this, overpaid and overrated, attention seeker fears the most - IGNORE HER!