BRITNEY WIGS OUT!

TROUBLED pop princess Britney Spears continues with the most public celebrity meltdown since Whitney. She loses her cool after a bust up with her ex - and whacked a car with her brolly.

Britney, 25, lashed out in the street outside former hubby Kevin Federline's home after he refused to see her, repeatedly bashing the empty car with the furled umbrella.

The singer, wild-eyed and shaven-headed, was a far cry from the fresh-faced pop princess America once fell in love with.

Britney had driven to wouldbe rapper Federline's Los Angeles home on Wednesday after he threatened to seek an emergency custody hearing over their sons Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden James, five months.

She rang his intercom but he did not respond. Britney, who wanted to get in to see the boys, stormed back to the car and drove around the block before returning to try again.

She repeated the process five times, getting increasingly agitated. She yelled into the intercom: "I know you are in there. Open the door. I need to talk. Let me in.

Everybody Hates Lindsay Lohan

Rumours of Lindsay Lohan’s bad behaviour at the recent GQ men Of The Year dinner are currently abound.

Lohan attended the event with her mother Dina Lohan where they rubbed shoulders with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Gore and Jessica Biel.

The party animal already has issues with Biel as her former assistant is currently assisting Biel and Lohan was gobsmacked to see the girl at such a prestigious event.

According to a PageSix witness, Lohan did not handle bumping into her ex-employee very well.

The witness says that Loan started screaming: "If she stays, I'm outta here! I can't look at that girl! I can't believe you would allow an assistant in here - she doesn't belong in here!"

"It was really uncalled for," added the witness, "Jessica and everyone else ignored her."

A friend of Biel’s said of the drama: "Jess didn't steal anyone's assistant - her assistant stopped working for Lindsay a long time ago. And whatever drama happened, Jess was no part of it. She is not part of [Lohan's] crowd - she is a professional."

None of the party goers were impressed with Lohan’s outburst, actor Will Ferrell was overheard saying to his star studded table: "Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?"

Upcoming Events

November 16: private view/Star Wars.

Celebs and Darth Vader actor from the original Star Wars movies attend opening of exhibition showcasing Giclee block prints featuring characters and scenes from the classic film, exposure Gallery, 22 Little Portland Street, W1.

now to December early: film shoot/Run, Fat Boy, Run.
David Schwimmer, Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Friends star directs Brit leads in comedy about an overweight fella trying to woo back the girl he jilted on their wedding day, around London. First he must run a marathon and convince her that her new handsome, wealthy fiance is not right for her.

Celebrity Lingo Enters The Mainstream

Of all the trappings that go with fame, this must rank as one of the least welcome. Rhyming slang is increasingly peppered with references to famous folk, and has become enough of a social phenomena to warrant a new book.

For many in the spotlight their move into everyday conversation is a badge of honour and will almost certainly, in the case of Pete Tong (wrong) or Gianluca Vialli (charlie; cocaine), outlast their careers.

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Others, such as Melvyn Bragg, who finds himself twinned with shag, and Belinda Carlisle, whose name is used to mean piles, may be more ambivalent.

According to a new Collins guide, Shame about the Boat Race, newer celebrities are simply replacing old, so Tony rather than Lionel Blair is increasingly used to refer to flares, and the footballer Billy Wright is superseded by soul singer Barry White as the link to "shite".

Cormac McKeown, an editor at Collins, said the number of modern celebrities in rhyming slang had increased in the past decade.

"Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels made geezer chic big in the 1990s and it was then that this ersatz cockney slang developed," he said. "A lot of the celebrities in rhyming slang 100 years ago would have been music hall stars who would have been very famous but only in the confines of the London area. Now it's opened up with figures from around the world, such a Britney Spears."

Much of the new rhyming slang is pretty coarse, revolving around drinking (Paul Weller/Stella; Winona Ryder/cider) and bodily functions (Wallace and Gromit/vomit), but it was ever thus, according to McKeown.

"It's purpose has always been to disguise and spare blushes. In the past there were lots of racial slurs which were hidden by rhyming slang. Now it's fairly tongue-in-cheek and it's got a register of its own. People are often being ironic when they use it."

While some names have an oblique relevance to the rhyming object (Brad Pitt/fit; Fatboy Slim/gym) most of the connections are incongruous. "It's linguistic frippery," said McKeown.

At least it adds richness and intrigue to crude, everyday language. After all, it is more interesting to say: "I left my Clare Rayners [trainers] down the Fatboy Slim [gym] so I was late for the Basil Fawlty [balti]. The Andy McNab [cab] cost me an Ayrton Senna [tenner] but it didn't stop me getting the Britney Spears [beers] in. Next thing you know it turned into a Gary Player [all-dayer] and I was off my Chevy Chase [face]."

London Fashion Week Parties

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 21

September 21: LFW party/Catherine Walker Vintage.
Conservatory, 46 Fulham Road, Chelsea, SW3, 6.30-9pm.
British designer whose celebrity clients include Lucy Lui, Sophie Anderton and Gabriella Windsor, celebrates launch of her vintage store and line of original couture pieces worn by the likes of Naomi Campbell and Linda Evangelista, which will be on sale to the public for the first time. Event features exhibition of couture paintings from up’n’coming designer Anna-Louise Felstead.

September 21: press conference/Emporio Armani.
Giorgio Armani, Italian designer re-launches London store, Emporio Armani, Brompton Road, Knightsbridge, 8.30am. Part of Aramani’s trip to the UK, which includes opening Armani/Casa store, September 20 and LFW catwalk show, Earls Court, September 21

September 21: LFW off-schedule catwalk show/Pierre Garroudi.
The Pierre Garroudi Gallery, Arch 6, Crucifix Lane, SE1, 9pm.
Expect glam and feminine pieces from prolific Iranian-born designer who is a veteran of both New York and Paris fashion weeks but an LFW newcomer. Aftershow party at same venue til late. Celeb guests tbc.

September 21: gala screening/The Devil Wears Prada.
Odeon West End, Leicester Square, WC2, time tbc.
DAVID FRANKEL directs. A small-town girl takes a job on a New York fashion magazine. MERYL STREEP, ANNE HATHAWAY and EMILY BLUNT star. Streep plays mag’s despotic editor, Blunt her obliging senior assisstant, Hathaway the put upon newcomer. Based on LAUREN WEISBERGER’s 2003 novel. Vips expected. Proceeds, Breakthrough Breast Cancer. Released October 20

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Amanda Wakeley.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 3.45pm.
British designer, whose glamorous designs are popular with the likes of Liz Hurley, Jennifer Lopez and Queen Rania of Jordan, returns to the London catwalk with a new collection. Celebs expected. Dannii Minogue, Lisa Snowdon, Donna Air and Sienna Miller have attended past shows.

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Nicole Farhi.
Floral Hall, Royal Opera House, WC2, 10.30am.
Staple of British fashion presents collection, likely to feature her signature understated easy tailoring for the working women. She is married to playwright David Hare. Celebs tbc.

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Antoni and Alison.
Marywall Hall, 5-7 Tavistock Place, WC1, 2.45pm.
Tongue-in-cheek designers known primarily for their vacuum packed slogan tees and off-beat LFW presentations.

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Ashley Isham.
Alice Evans, Louise Redknapp, Margherita Taylor, Michelle Collins, Yasmin Mills, Holly Willoughby, Lisa B, Jenni Falconer attend show of demi-couture and ready-to-wear collections from Singaporean designer BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 9.30am.

September 21: LFW catwalk show and award/Fashion Fringe.
Six and Seven Eighths, Antonio Santana, Gavin Douglas, Stephen Harper, finalists show collections, City Hall, South Bank, SE1, 12.45pm. The winner of the third annual £100K prize for Britain’s ‘hottest’ young designer is announced following the show. Past winners are Basso and Brooke, Sinha-Stanic, Erdem and Modernist. Award is Colin McDowell’s brainchild.


September 21: LFW catwalk show/Margaret Howell.
Margaret Howell, 34 Wigmore Street, W1, 11.30am.
Designer showcases trademark low-key, mannish womenswear in Irish linen, printed silks and lightweight wool.

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Issa.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 6pm.
Brazilian designer’s spring/summer 2007 collection. Aftershow venue tbc.

September 21: cocktail reception/Armani/Casa.
Armani/Casa, 113 New Bond Street, W1, 6.30-9.30pm.
Private cocktail reception celebrates opening of Italian fashion label’s new home wares store. Invite only. Soft opening precedes, September 20

September 21: LFW catwalk show/Emporio Armani Womenswear Spring/Summer 2007.
Giorgio Armani, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Bono, Samuel L Jackson, Leonardo di Caprio, Andriy Shevchenko, Helen Taylor, Bobby Shriver, designer joins guests and founder of (PRODUCT) RED at showcase of his new womenswear range and launch of EMPORIO ARMANI (PRODUCT) RED capsule collection, Earls Court, SW5, 7.30pm. Armani is one of five partner brands participating in economic initiative launched by Bono and Bobby Shriver last January. Afterparty follows at same venue, 11pm ‘til late.


FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 22

September 22: LFW catwalk show/Hamish Morrow.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 3.45pm.
South African trained designer shows in London after a five season break.

September 22: LFW party/Soho Hotel & Saks Fifith Avenue.
Soho Hotel, 4 Richmond Mews, W1, time tbc.
Celebs and fashionistas expected at party celebrating the end of swanky London hotel’s series of off-schedule LFW catwalk shows. In association with Saks Fifith Avenue.

September 22: LFW off-schedule catwalk show/Victim.
Vauxhall Fashion Scout, 65-67 Queen’s Gate, SW7, 6.30pm.
Taiwanese designer Mel Hui Liu showcases new collection which re-works vintage pieces into something new. Dinos Chapman and Cheryl Tweedy have attended in the past.


September 22: LFW catwalk show/Erdem.
Il Bottaccio, 9 Grosvenor Place, SW1, 12.15pm. Canadian-Turkish designer who won Fashion Fringe launches new collection including range of macs in conjunction with Macintosh of Scotland. Aftershow tbc.


September 22: LFW catwalk show/Bora Aksu.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 1.15pm.
Romantic Turkish-born designer showcases his new collection. Tori Amos and Rachel Hunter are fans of his cleverly textured pieces. Celebs expected.


September 22: LFW catwalk show/MAN: Topshop & Fashion East Present London Menswear. NCP Car Park, Brewer Street, W1, 5pm.
Dedicated menswear catwalk that last year showed SIV STOLDAL, DERRYCK WALKER and ANN SOPHIE BACK.

September 22: LFW catwalk show/B-Rude.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 6pm.
New collection from design team comprising BOY GEORGE, MIKE NICHOLLS and TIM PARKS. Celebs expected. Aftershow venue tbc.

September 22: LFW catwalk show/Jean Muir.
Jean Muir, 48 Conduit Street, W1, 9.30am.
Design team trained by the late Jean Muir honour her legacy of simplicity, quality and detail in tweed, jersey and knit. The Duchess of Cornwall is a fan.

September 22: LFW off-schedule catwalk show/Aganovich & Yung.
Vauxhall Fashion Scout, Baden-Powell House, Queen’s Gate, SW7, 1.30pm.
Third collection from ex-St Martin’s graduates, who play with scale and volume.


September 22: LFW catwalk show/Julien Macdonald.
London Hilton, Park Lane, W1, 7.15pm.
Designer to the stars shows sexed-up frocks for the red carpet. Paris Hilton, Naomi Campbell, Kelly Brook, Kylie, Deborah Harry, Rachel Stevens, Martine McCutcheon and Kelly Holmes are fans. Paris Hilton modelled at the last show. Celebs expected. Aftershow 24, 24 Kingly Street, 10pm-til late.

September 22: LFW catwalk show/PPQ.
BFC Tent, West Lawn, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 11am.
Ex-Topshop designers AMY MOLYNEAUX and PERCY PARKER show latest quirky street-wear collection. The enterprising pair also have a flourishing record label, named 1234. Fans include Jade Jagger, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Kelis.


September 22: LFW catwalk show/Tata Naka.
BFC Tent, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 3.45pm.
Identical Georgian twins TAMARA & NATASHA SURGULADZE, show their latest collection. Mena Suvari, Venus Williams and Sarah Jessica Parker


SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 23


September 23: LFW model competition final/Face of Eve 2006.
Patsy Kensit hosts final of annual model comp for over 30s, British Fashion Council Tent, Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7, 2.30pm tbc. Kensit and the 10 finalists are available for interview. Winner gets a contract with Models One. London Fashion Week runs to September 22.

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 27

September 27 preview/London Fashion Weekend.
Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road.
Designers sell their clobber at knock down prices. Runs to October 1.

Spotted In London

U2 at Abbey road studios. Gwen Stefani in primrose Hill.

The Real Mel Gibson

I hear that Mel Gibson has been arrested for drunk driving and has been shooting his mouth off. I'm sure his lawyers and publicists are working overtime (and getting paid overtime) to salvage his carefully constructed public persona. However let us not forget how many people are killed yearly by drunk drivers!

I photographed him many years ago, he told me to f**k off and said the same to the autograph collectors present. he was generally unpleasent to everybody.

I don't watch his films anymore, not since Braveheart, as they are full of bile. He's very much a man with a hidden agenda (not so hidden anymore). He has repeatedly abused his power and position to make movies that promote his own twisted political views. He's very much his fathers son but the mask has finally slipped.

People can now see him for the nasty spiteful bigot that he is. I think the creative community should now distance themselves from him.

I suggest that everybody should boycott his films and hit him where it hurts, in his pocket.

Zhang Ziyi to Star in Live-action Mulan

Chinese actress Zhang Ziyi is expected to star in a live-action version of Mulan, which will be jointly produced by Harvey Weinstein and Beijing-based City Glory Picture Company.

Weinstein is one of Hollywood's most prolific heavy-weight producers known for his role as executive vice-producer for blockbusters Lord of the Rings and Kill Bill.

The deal between Harvey Weinstein and the Beijing-based City Glory Picture, calls on the partners to split the US$20 million cost of Mulan.

Staff with City Glory said that is the first time Weinstein has invested in a Chinese production.

Hua Mulan, a legendary Chinese heroine, is the protagonist of a folk tale that has been told for centuries in China. She was a young woman who disguised herself as a man to take her father's place in battle 1,500 years ago.

The story was first put on the screen in a 1956 Chinese production, 50 years before it was adapted into a cartoon film by Walt Disney Inc.

"Mulan enabled Walt Disney Inc to rake in US$300 million, which no doubt left an indelible impression on Weinstein," said a City Glory staff member who asked to remain anonymous.

A famous Taiwan scriptwriter wrote the script four years ago with encouragement from Malaysian-Chinese actress Michelle Yeoh, who starred in the Oscar-winning film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

"We got the script with the help of Michelle Yeoh," the City Glory staff said, adding that the script "was hot property among overseas film makers."

Both Yeoh and Chinese mega-star Zhang have been courted by other producers who have for several years attempted to put together a live-action Mulan production.

"We will select the right cast and crew for Mulan from among the most popular stars and directors," the City Glory staff said, stressing that the original Mulan story will be preserved.

Shooting is expected to begin next February.

Besides signing on for Mulan, Zhang also has signed on for two other movies to be produced by Weinstein, including a remake of Japanese classic The Seven Samurai, a news report said.

Zhang confirmed she would star in the three movies when she met Weinstein at Cannes, the Chinese-language news Web site Sina.com reported last Friday.

The report did not say what the subject of the third film would be.

Zhang's roles in both movies will involve her playing women disguised as men, the report said.

In the remake of The Seven Samurai, Akira Kurosawa's 1954 classic, Zhang will play a villager who dresses as a man to protect herself from bandits, Sina.com said.

Zhang was last seen in the Hollywood drama Memoirs of a Geisha. Her new movie, the Chinese-language, Hamlet-inspired ancient court drama The Banquet (Ye Yan) is due for release later this year.